(Department H)

Logan: There. Freed the last of 'em. They don't know what's flamin' going on, and neither do I. Better see what's outside.

(He exits the facility, and sees someone approaching in the distance.)

Logan: Who the-- That doesn't look like human. Coming this way. >Sniff sniff< They haven't got a scent.

(About 60 feet from where Logan is standing.)

Weapon KAM: Look! A little furry man! I hey...uh oh....>twitch< it's...it's HIM. Weapon X. Crap... Programming....setting in....KILL!

(Weapon KAM charges toward Logan)

Logan: He's moving to attack. AArgh...hands....what's wrong with my hands?

Weapon KAM: Almost there--!

Logan: Getting closer. Look's like I got another fight coming. Just what I need. AAGH!

(Three claws burst out of the back of each of his hands.)

Logan: What the hell!? Metal...claws? If this is the same stuff they slapped onto my bones, they should be able to cut through anything. **

(Weapon KAM leaps toward Logan, Logan tries to cut him with his new claws.)

Logan: Didn't go through! Guess these can't cut through anything.

Weapon KAM: You're puny claw-things can't penetrate my Oh-Yeahamantium covering!

Logan: Guess not.

(Weapon KAM punches Logan, Logan starts really fighting. Weapon KAM tosses snow in Logans eyes.)

Logan: No, that only works with mud or dirt. This is just ice.

Weapon KAM: D'OH! Sorry.

Logan: S'no problem. But why are you attacking me?

Weapon KAM: Because I must defeat you!! You're going DOWN, short-n-hairy!

Logan: That's it, RAAAAARRGH!!!!

(Logan attacks some more, swiping his claws all over the place. He still hasn't wounded Weapon KAM. They keep fighting while talking.)

Weapon KAM: AHAHAHA! Soon the organization that you fight for will be nothing!

Logan: I'm not fighting for ANYone but myself! You attacked me! You stupid crazy red pitcher!

Weapon KAM: Whatta you MEAN you're not working for anyone?! You are the Weapon X! You work for Department H!

Logan: No, I don't. They kidnapped me, took my memories, and did THIS to me! (He shows KAM his claws.) I just freed all of their other captives.

Weapon KAM: Really? So....there's no real reason for us to be fighting after all?

Logan: Well, now you've kinda angered me..... but other than that, NO! There's no reason for us to fight.

Weapon KAM: Well then, I guess I'll be on my way.

Logan: Later.

(Logan turns his back and hears Weapon KAM start to walk away. Then he hears really swift footsteps coming toward him.)

Weapon KAM: HAHA, YOU SUCKER!!!

(He bounds toward Logan and hits him in the head with a mallet numerous times)

Logan: Aghglgh.....

Weapon KAM: AHAHAHA! DIE!

Logan: It's....gonna take more'n that to kill me. My skull can't be broken.

Weapon KAM: Well, how about this?

(He hits Logan in the stomach with the same mallet twice.)

Logan: BLrrgh....

Weapon KAM: How do you like THEM apples??

Logan: RRgghhh....

(Weapon X jumps into the air, and lands inside Weapon KAM's head.)

Weapon KAM: HEY! That's disgusting!!! Get out of there! You're contaminating my nice clean Kool-Aid!

Logan: RAARGH!

Weapon KAM: Stop it! That's dirty!

(Logan is clawing at the inside of Weapon KAM's head frantically, looking for a weakness.)

Weapon KAM: Alright, that's it!

(He flings himself just so, and causes Logan to fly out and back onto the Canadian snow.)

Logan: RrrrrRrrR...

Weapon KAM: I've had about enough of you!

(He once again runs toward Logan, grabs a nearby tractor, and hurls it at Logan.)

Weapon KAM: Heal THAT, runt.

Logan: nnnnggggg....(blacks out).

---

(30 seconds later)

Weapon KAM: Hey, the mind-control drugs wore off. I kind of wish I didn't beat that guy up now. Oh well. I didn't like this whole experience much. I hereby vow never to me used as anyone's tool ever again! I need a new name. Lessee....Weapon KAM...KAM...Kool-Aid....Ah-HA! I am a man made of Kool-Aid! I shall call myself....KOOL-AID MAN! Now, to wander off into the sunset.

(And he does.)

---

Epilogue:

(3 hours after Kool-Aid Man wandered off to find a life of his own...)

Logan: Wha...whu? Flamin' tractor....whugh. >Sniff sniff< What? NO!

???: Evening, Runt. Thanks for opening our cells. 'Preciate it!

Logan: Sabretooth!

Sabretooth: Yeah, and you an' me got catching up to do!

End Epilogue

*See future Chapters of Untold Tales