[The Hand compound, Osaka, Japan. Jubilee is suspended, manacled, high above the control room in a glass cell. Technicians man the controls while Tetsuo and Matsuo Tsurayaba watch the monitors.]

{Osaka, Japan. It is an onslaught not visited upon this nation since Hiroshima. Stranger still, its harbingers number only four. This may seem unbelievable, except that the attackers of the Osaka Hand compound are mutants, born with a genetic quirk which places them apart from humanity. These mutants are X-Men.}

[Cyclops, Phoenix, Rogue, and Beast tear through the compound's armed guards with impunity, each using their specific power to its best advantage.]

Tetsuo: Master! Surely they will breach the perimeter!

Tsurayaba: Surely they will.

Tetsuo: But we cannot stop them! Even now our shock forces are beaten back!

Tsurayaba: Stopping them is not our concern.

Tetsuo: Master?

Tsurayaba: Rest assured, old friend, their former teammate is quite under our control.

Tetsuo: Many have tried, Master-

Tsurayaba: The psionic implants are so deep, so subtle, that even if the Grey woman were able to somehow wrest away the surface conditioning, they would be left with a most volatile time bomb.

[Outside.]

{Scott Summers, the man called Cyclops, fires his plasma-powered eyebeams, halting an advancing squadron. He looks to his wife. Theirs is a love that precludes verbage, instead communicated with glances...and thoughts}

Cyclops: Jean, watch your back!

Phoenix: You forget, Scott. It's sort of hard to sneak up on a psi.

[Phoenix downs the sniper.]

Cyclops: Consider me schooled. Any fix on Logan?

Phoenix: Yes, he's definitely inside that bunker, along with Jubilee. But Scott, his thoughts are ... muffled somehow.

Cyclops: It must be the psi-shielding you detected earlier. Your proximity to Logan, with the information we pried out of Zoe Culloden got us this far. It's up to the rest of us now, Jean.

[A Hand guard flies past Cyclops, hitting the bunker with a thud. The Beast bounds up to Cyclops and Phoenix.]

Beast: Doing the psi-bop again, kiddies? Oh, they never learn to share.

Cyclops: Very funny, Hank. Where's Rogue?

[Rogue wraps a girder around 20 Hand troops.]

Rogue: Ovah here, Scott. This'll hold 'em. Least 'til they evaporate or sumthin' else disgustin'.

Beast: No, Rogue. Theses troops do not seem to face discorporation at defeat as did our adversaries from the Hand in the past.

Phoenix: These men are troops, not ninjas.

Beast: Perhaps they bargained away dental coverage for a "no disintegration" clause at the last contract negotiation?

Cyclops: Enough chatter, people! Two of our own are trapped inside!

{Cyclops commanding tone is dwarfed only by the force of his optic blasts that batter the bunker holding his friends. A hole in the dark bunker now stands gaping before the four mutants.}

{Nothing happens for scant seconds, as Cyclops begins to question the validity of Logan's whereabouts and his wife's telepathic abilities. Then, in answer, scores of red-garbed Hand assasins pour from the hole, brandishing any number of martial weapons.}

Cyclops: Form on me, people! Rogue! Take the-

{Then, astonishingly, the master ninjas all seem to ... fall asleep.}

Phoenix: We don't have time for this.

Cyclops: Jean?

{As the X-Men step around the fallen ninjas, Cyclops pauses to consider that his wife has ever been loathe to use her powers in such a fashion. Then he realizes her purpose was to rescue her friend, Logan.}

Cyclops: That's it, Scott. "Friend" is the operative word.

{Inside the control room.}

Tetsuo: The Grey woman! She-

Tsurayaba: -Did what our intelligence said she could do. Although I must admit I've never heard of her using her power so...callously.

[With a flash of plasma, the door control room door blows outward.]

Cyclops: Times change, Tsurayaba.

[Tsurayaba applauds.]

Tsurayaba: Oh, masterfully played, mutants. Terrific entrance.

[Rogue takes flight and tugs the fortified plexiglass wall holding off its moorings. Phoenix shields Jubilee in a psionic cocoon and lowers her to the floor, while Rogue throws the plexiglass wall at Jubilee's guards.]

Jubilee: Rogue!

Rogue: Hi young 'un! Just let me clean up the trash and we'll all catch up.

Phoenix: Easy, Jubilee.

Jubilee: No, Jean, Scott, you don't understand! Logan!

Cyclops: Don't worry, Jubilee. We'll find him.

Beast: And just where is our dimunitive companion, if you don't mind, Tsurayaba-san?

Tsurayaba: I do not mind at all, Dr. McCoy, you filthy abomination.

Jubilee: No! Scott!

Beast: Well, actually the Abomination is green and lives in the sewers, but I think I catch your genetic dogma drift.

Tsurayaba: You like jokes, McCoy? Well, prepare yourself, here comes the funniest one of all!

{Tsurayaba gestures toward a figure draped in shadow, only too recognized as-}

Phoenix: Logan!

{Jean Grey rushes toward the one person, besides her husband, she feels closest to in the entire world.}

Jubilee: Jean, no! Stay away!

Cyclops: Huh?

{Her mistake.}

[Logan strikes Phoenix across the face, crumpling her and robbing her of consciousness.]

Rogue: What in the world?

Cyclops: Logan, have you gone insane?!?

Tsurayaba: Wait, McCoy. That's not even the punchline. Logan?

(SNIKT)

Cyclops: His adamantium claws-

Jubilee: That's what I tried to tell you!

Rogue: -They're back!

Tsurayaba: And our dear friend Logan, I assure you, is quite gone. Ha, ha, ha!!

{As the four X-Men watch in shock their friend advancing for on their fallen comrade the only words they can find are-}

Beast: Oh my stars and garters.